Let's read William Golding's LORD OF THE FLIES: Intro

I have never read Lord of the Flies before, not even in school.

I was actually intending on reading this while I was out in the woods with Outward Bound (funnily enough), but I wasn't allowed to take the book with me since I won't have the time to read.

All I know about this story is that a bunch of schoolboys crash-land on a deserted island, and end up forming their own little disturbing society. There are no girls, and this severely upsets a friend of mine, who apparently would rather have a flat useless token girl who died on the plane than no girls at all.

I am imagining a utopia/dystopia-type story that explores the nature of a small, new, isolated society, and the effects an anarchistic lifestyle can have on it.

So here goes.

~*~

Ah, yes! What exactly is a Let's Read?

It's an idea I got from Let's Play videos on youtube, in which the makers of the videos play a videogame and reflect on it. It is the same deal here, except that I will be reflecting on the book as I finish each chapter.

FAQ (for teenagers, especially those living in my town)

Q: What are you talking about?
A: If you were listening (not that you were), you would know. If you don't understand something I'm saying, ask a more specific question.

Q: I don't get a word you're saying. This makes me better than you, right?
A: Absolutely not. Nobody's allowed to be better than me without my explicit permission. I also don't see the logic in how you can be better than me if I can understand you but you can't understand me.

Q: Wait, what?
A: If you were listening, you would have got that.

Q: Why do you cut your hair so short
A: Because that's how I like it. Why do you wear your hair the way you do?

Q: Is it okay for me quote something you said to somebody else as a way of making fun of you because what you said is funny to me because I don't want to take the extra effort to get it?
A: No, it is not okay. I am not the kid who said that Halo was a pretty cool guy who doesn't afraid of anything.

Q: Wait why did you call him Halo his name is Master Chief
A: If you were paying attention, you would have noticed that I was repeating someone else's words.

Q: I notice you are making rhythmic movements with your body while listening to music. What are you doing and why are you doing that?
A: I am dancing, asshole. What else do you do to music?

Q: Are you a lesbian?
A: No, I'm straight. But it's okay, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Q: Why don't you talk to people a lot?
A: Have you seen the way people talk to me? Hey, if you genuinely want to talk to me, that's awesome. All you have to do is be nice and stop trying to find ways to make me look like an idiot.

Q: You said something strange, amusing and intriguing about yourself. May my many friends and I all inquire you at once about it?
A: I'll be happy to answer questions about it as long as you all calm down and let me explain. Note that I am a normal human being and not an enigma, so treat me as such.

Q: You have asked me politely to please stop cracking my gum loudly. Is it okay if I continue doing it?
A: If you don't mind me doing violent things to you, go ahead.

Q: You exist. Can I throw stuff at you?
A: There is something inherently wrong with you.

EAT LESS FOOD

And now for some random advice:

EAT LESS FOOD.

It's something that the inflated American-Canadian food industry (which is topped by the same few monopolists over and over) doesn't want you to know is good for you since they can't profit off of that information.

(Did you know that cigarette companies also have a big hand in the food industry? One of the food industry biggies is actually Phillip Morris. This is because tobacco is becoming more and more of a niche industry, so all the smart companies knew to invest in the massive and highly profitable food industry which can never become niche.)

Ever noticed why food pyramid posters always say to "choose" certain types of food? That's because the food industry won't let the government & related committees use the simple "eat less of this" wording on the posters.

The simple truth is that eating less altogether, especially meat, is extremely beneficial to your health. You should only eat as much food as is necessary to sustain you and your kind of lifestyle. If you live an active lifestyle, obviously you need more food, but if you're not active, then you don't need as much food.

Oh, and don't worry about your weight, and especially not your BMI. Some people naturally have more fat tissue than others (your amount of fat cells rarely changes during your lifetime), so the real goal is to just don't let whatever fat tissue you have get engorged with lipids to the point where it's starting to get ridiculous. People also have varying amounts of muscle tissue which adds greatly to your weight since muscle is denser than fat.

How to not handle your gum like a douchebag

1. While chewing your gum, please do so discreetly.
   • This means not chewing with your mouth open. When one chews with his mouth open, others can clearly hear the chewing sounds being made, and clearly see the gum wad lolling around in the mouth, which is absolutely disgusting. Correct this habit.
   • Under no circumstances should you be popping, snapping, cracking or playing with your gum in the presence of others. It is extremely annoying. Anyone who cracks their gum repeatedly will be physically assaulted. That shit is LOUD and fucking disgusting.
   • A good rule of thumb is to imagine that your mean old teacher from elementary school who hated gum is present in the room and right next to you. Try to chew your gum in such a way that your teacher wouldn't notice.
2. After you have finished with your gum, please dispose of it in an environment-friendly manner.
   • Britain is forced to spend £150 million on removing gum from pavements, as chewing gum is non-biodegradable (it is rubber!) and will not be cleaned by normal means, and I'm sure the cost in the US is no different. You've seen the nasty little black and grey spots on the pavement--that is gum! That shit gets stuck to people's shoes, it soils the look of perfectly good pavement, and animals get hurt from trying to eat it (chewing gum is a human creation, it's only natural that animals don't understand it). Chewing gum is banned in Singapore for this very reason.
   • Underneath a counter top is also not an acceptable place to leave your gum. Don't think nobody notices.
   • In Six Flags New England, I once saw a little chicken wire-covered roof (also blocked off from the stairs I was on by fencing) that was completely covered in globs of ABC gum. I was almost about to be sick. Please don't throw gum somewhere just because you see other gum there! You only add to the problem!
   • Chewing gum does not decompose. If it gets stuck somewhere, it will be there forever until someone (hopefully the asshole who put it there) removes it.
   • Please dispose of your gum in an appropriate trash receptacle. If a trash receptacle is nowhere to be found, keep that shit in your mouth until you find one or swallow it. And no, it will NOT stay in your stomach for ten years or five years or even one, that is an old wives' tale. No, it will simply pass through your digestive system and out of your anus like anything else you swallow. The only difference is that it won't be broken down because it's not bio-degradable.